Jack and Jill went up the hill ¹

to fetch a pail of water ²

Jack fell down and broke his crown ³

And Jill came tumbling after. ⁴

^{1. "Wooz" George lived next door but never saw a hill.}

^{2. Laird Kircher knows Jack, and Jack never would have done it.
(actually Laird Kircher doesn't know Jack Schitt)}

^{3. cHARLES hOLTGRAVER issued a citation for sidewalk obstruction.}

^{4. Deanne Ebbert was too lazy to get up off her fat arse to help.
She knew that Jack knew he didn't belong on the hill.
Jack told her he was leaving right away.
That hill blocked her view of the students a mile beyond.}

^{Pittsburgh Attorney Fred E Baxter, also Borough Solictor(sic)
filed charges for some sort of Zoning infraction.}

^{Pittsburgh Attorney Dennis A Watson who is Chairman of the
wEST vIEW Zoning Board upheld the charges in his
kangaroo court.
He issued an injunction barring Jack
from ever being with Jill again.}